Published on Reddit’s r/AmITheA****** forum, a man under the anonymous username u/throwaway37483947 shared his story in order to receive the opinions of the “AITA” community.
The original poster (OP) began his story by discussing his college friend’s relationships over the years. After graduation, they remained close and their friend group has become bigger over the years as the significant others were added. Each month, the friend group also takes turns hosting a barbecue.
The OP explained that his wife, “Jane,” has autism and experiences trouble eating certain foods as well as sensory issues. As a precaution, he has given his friends a list of foods that Jane is able to eat without issue. He confirms that none of his friends have a problem accommodating Jane’s needs.
Recently, the OP and his wife were over at his friend “John’s” house. When they were ready to eat, his wife, “Caroline” grabbed the plate that was made up for Jane. However, the OP’s other friend, “Nick’s” pregnant wife, “Sarah” saw and wanted what Jane had.
The OP wrote, “She said she didn’t want the food that was made and wanted my wife’s food. The problem was John and Caroline only made enough for Jane and not enough for anybody else. Sarah then demanded my wife give up her food because she has a baby to nourish and my wife doesn’t.”
“My wife has trouble communicating what she wants to other people so I told Sarah that my wife only eats certain foods and this is one of them. Sarah snapped back saying that the other food is making her nauseous and she has to eat something and my wife’s food is the only thing that looks appealing to her,” he continued.
He said to Sarah that she can go find something else to eat as Jane won’t be giving up her food. In response, Sarah called him “rude” and “inconsiderate” and walked away, with Nick running after her.
Newsweek has reached out to u/throwaway37483947 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.
An autistic person’s differences in sensory processing
Zoe Gross, director at the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), discussed with Newsweek how having differences in sensory processing is a trait of autism.
“This means that we perceive our senses differently. We may be especially sensitive to things like tastes, textures, and sounds, or we may have difficulty sensing subtle things and seek “louder” sensory input. For many autistic people, sensory issues around taste, smell, and texture lead us to eat a restricted diet. Some autistic people can eat only a few foods reliably,” Gross said.
Autism and relationships
Gross also told Newsweek that she is happy to see people talking about autism within relationships and how there is a “cultural misperception” that autistic people can’t form relationships or that they don’t care about other people.
“This isn’t true—autistic people care about others as much as non-autistic people do, and can succeed in friendships, familial relationships, and/or romantic relationships, depending on what works for each person,” she said.
Redditor reactions
“[Not the a******] Say it with me: The world does not owe you because you did the dirty and squirty raw,” u/UhLeXSauce wrote, receiving the top comment of over 24,000 upvotes.
“[Not the a******]. “Being pregnant isn’t [a] free pass for anything you want. Manners and basic decency still [apply],” u/DarmokTheNinja said.
U/Nagadavida echoed, “[Not the a******] you stood up for your wife and was her knight in shining armor. I don’t know why pregnant women and women pushing strollers feel so entitled but they do.”
“[Not the a******]. Jane and Sarah both have special food needs. Jane due to autism and Sarah to pregnancy. Jane was prepared because you establish prior to the event what her dietary requirements were. Sarah was not. If Sarah feels that she is entitled to Jane’s meal for any reason, pregnancy included, she is flat out wrong,” u/fallingfaster345 commented.
